It Burns

Because I am spoiled, I occasionally go on cruises. Because I am an ungrateful, whiny bitch, I complain about them. Because I am easily distracted, I then talk about things completely unrelated. My brother contributes by playing Katamari Damacy on his PSP (see spoiled).

 

 Cruise Ships and Elephant Cocks [2:43m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (239)

In this extremely delayed episode, I forbid people from doing things. On an unrelated note, please let me know if you have a better idea for how I should end these.

 

 In Which Age Limits Are Instated [2:40m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (266)

Once upon a time, children’s television didn’t suck. I’m not really sure what happened between then and now. All I know is that my brother Abe and I are not happy about the change.

 

 The Television of Yesteryear [12:28m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (305)

Following up from my previous anger about dentistry, I had to go to the dentist today. After removing part of one of my teeth and replacing it with synthetic something-or-other, he informed me that I need to get a root canal really soon. That’s just fucking terrific.

If you somehow don’t already know, believe me when I tell you that food, while tasty, is a huge pain in the ass. Popcorn in particular can fuck right off.

 

 Not So Much Delicious As Annoying [6:30m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (269)

I realize that I’ve basically vanished for about 4 months. I had some really good excuses, but I just don’t remember them. I’ll get another episode up later today.

This marks the beginning of my systematic rejection of all modes of transportation. I probably won’t follow through with that, but that’s not the point. What I’m trying to say is that I have much hate for automobile-related bullshit.

I really do need a Ragemobile, though.

 

 The Ragemobile [5:00m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (583)

Where, you might be wondering, did I get the idea to yell angrily at a microphone and put the results online? Truth be told, I didn’t. You see, I listen to Maximum PC’s No BS Podcast. One of the recurring segments is called Gordon Mah Ung’s Rant of the Week, wherein Gordon Mah Ung, MaxPC’s senior editor, spews forth anger and hate. It’s really quite fantastic.

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In this much-delayed episode of It Burns, I tell you that Apple sucks. So great is my hatred for Apple that it took almost sixteen minutes to get me to quiet the hell down.

 

 The Forbidden Fruit [15:40m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (338)

So, I’m in Israel for the next 2 weeks. I was trying to put together another episode to post before I left, but I ran out of time. I’ll finish it and post it upon my return.